LOUISE MENSCH - ODD OUNDLE 9

For those who don’t know, Louise Mensch (née Bagshawe), is our Member of Parliament; that is, for *Oundle, Corby (wherever that is) and parts adjacent. In early November she started to attract media attention because … um … perhaps because she set out to. I think that Mrs Mensch tends to achieve what she aims for. So there were photos and interviews and she became rather more famous than she was before and she was, before, quite famous because she is one of those rare birds, a published writer who sells loads of books and never has to defend herself from the charge of writing bad books.

What interested several journalists was the matter of whether or not Louise (I may call you Louise, mayn’t I? Well, I did vote for you) had had some form of physical amelioration during the summer recess. The focus was on the face. When faced with the question she neither admitted to it nor denied it. It was left for us, the readers, to judge. Extremely fine portraits of her were carried with the published interviews the implication being that being so good looking and being just on the 40 year mark she must have had the odd nip and tuck.

This is where I have the advantage of all those journalists and I can show you what Louise Mensch looked like on 13 March 2008 – and that ain’t so long ago. Take a look.

Ladies, you may hate to read this but three years and nine months ago this was our then MP to be. Do you see any wrinkles? Any blemishes? Her face is flawless. I don’t even see a trace of make-up (well, perhaps a little colour to the eye-lids, a smidge of foundation – I’m no expert) . So, folks, is it likely that three years and around five months after this photo was taken her face would have degenerated to the point that she needed cosmetic surgery? Nah!

Now, if you want to build a conspiracy theory then consider the possibility that by allowing the focus to fall on her face she distracted people from an area where she might have had a little … assistance. Look again at the photo. What I’ll term the ‘light blue or turquoise’ area of the pic does suggest … potential for growth? Say n’more.

But it is none of your business. And it is certainly none of mine (he who has recently been studying one or two of his own facial depressions and allowing the word ‘Botox’ to form in his mind).

In some of those interviews Louise spoke of her feelings towards her recently acquired husband and here I think she may have put herself in a situation that might be term a ‘Kinnock’. Do you remember when the dear old Welsh Windbag, prior to an election leaned towards his enthusiastic followers and yelled out ‘Yeah!!!’ in the manner of an American spiritual leader – and just blew it before our very eyes. Speaking of her man she said, “My palms still sweat with adrenaline whenever he walks into a room.”

Oh, dearie me! To be a touch pedantic I’d point out that adrenaline may make someone sweat but what is sweated is … sweat, perspiration. And do we want to know this, whatever the girl chooses to exude from her pores?

I know one thing for sure. I ain’t gonna shake her hand no more.


*She’s MP for Corby and East Northamptonshire if you want to be picky about it.

ADDED: 16 June 2012.
Since the 'Kinnock' incident Ms Mensch has acquired a much more serious status within the Party, has been heard speaking for the Party on the Radio 4 'Today' programme and has acquitted herself very well in face-to-facing with those terrier-like interviewers. Her recent response to questions regarding troubles with the Liberals over Jeremy -pause- Hunt was 'The're just being silly'. Nicely handled!